Sunday, February 18, 2024
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Katherine Godby here.....I’m so glad I can share a memory of Carolyn like this. She was one of my “soul friends,” and I love(d) her dearly. When Russell told me the date of the memorial service, my heart sank – I’ve planned and am committed to speak at an event on the morning of the 24th, so I’ll have to miss being with everyone then. I’ll miss getting to, if not meet, then at least see her grandchildren whom she spoke of so often and always so lovingly. Jonathan, Sarah, and Becca, you’ve probably never heard of me, but I feel I know YOU! Whenever we met for coffee or went to the Academy, or to Potato Ladies, or to Art & Spirituality, or after Lectio Divina (that she and Russ hosted for about a decade), I loved getting updated from your grandmother on how you were all growing up.
I got to meet Sherrie a couple of times, but never Scott or Pam – well, now that I think of it, we did all meet in the backyard when I officiated the ceremony at Russ and Carolyn’s 50th wedding anniversary, a lovely memory.
The photograph was taken in 2019 at my home. Her smile in that photo is one I think of as ‘authentic Carolyn’—kindness radiated from her. She was smiling at me, and I felt the love she was sending my way in that moment. The way the photo captures that sweet look on her face reminds me of how Carolyn’s first response was always to want the best for others, to think the best of others. Giving others the benefit of the doubt was one of her most beautiful spiritual gifts.
At the same time, I also want to say that people often overlooked the strength underneath Carolyn’s kindness, natural hospitality, and loving openness. I bore witness, time after time, when, for deeply good reasons, she would not compromise. She stood her ground, and in so doing, she paved the way for others to do the same.
One reason I think of Carolyn as “soul friend” was the way she walked with me on my path of death anxiety. In our many conversations about death, perhaps the pearl of wisdom I value the most was the way she articulated the love of God for all creation. You see it in the seasons, she said, the way autumn moves to winter and life goes underground, seemingly dying. But winter lets go eventually, and what was ‘dead’ is revealed as simply having fulfilled its calling and made room for more life! And it’s God’s love that powers all of that, she told me. So wouldn’t it make sense that the same divine accompaniment would power humanity’s journey through life as well? It’s the cycle of life, she explained—it’s the work of Beauty and Love. All of that was comforting to me—both her wise words and her gentle way of expressing it.
Throughout our many years, our lives intersect with so many other people. Most of them we barely notice, a few we actively move away from, and some become our lifelong friends. And then there are those we meet in which our connection is so deep that how long we were friends makes no sense. I didn’t know Carolyn my whole life, but deep speaks to deep, right? From the beginning we both knew we were being given a ‘soul-friend’ to cherish. Forever.
